kiyowaramiyuki

It was a interesting day.  Not really in the fortune cookie sense, but still...I did have a fun time a The Shop, and even got some good work done there.  My evening was wonderful!  T and I are celebrating 13 years of marriage as of tomorrow, and we went out tonight to see Harry Potter 6 and have dinner in honor of the occasion.  Thank you, Sweetie!

What a pleasant surprise then to come home and see AuntiSocial and Erik here to play wii with punkmom !  I sat down to watch the fun - and even played a little - as they enjoyed Boogie.  It was fun, even I don't really have the controls figured out!

Tomorrow will be a bit busy as I will be packing in the morning for a trip to see Hearst Castle with punkmom, T, and Ru on Tuesday.  I have to do the packing part amongst going to yoga in the morning, getting to the bank and to work, where I have a meeting and a private lesson scheduled across the afternoon.  I'm hoping I can squeeze all that in to the available space/time continuum!

We are also in a 2 week countdown to leaving for Sock Summit!  I'm really excited at having this opportunity both to take our shop on the road and to actually see Portland.  I've always just driven through Portland, and I understand that it's a beautiful city.  We'll be closing the shop for the trip, from August 4-11, 2009; we'll re-open on the 12th and I'm sure we'll have plenty of stories to tell!

Ru or I may get to come home with a new bicycle as part of the trip: the hotel where we're staying has a pool and treadmills, but no exercise bike.  After some thought, T pointed out that it may be cheaper to just buy another bike rather than rent one.  Ru needs a new one anyway, and one that fits her will fit me, too.  My bike trainer is a very small, folding unit, so we can just throw that into one of the cars headed up to Portland.  It should be interesting!  If anyone has recommnedations for bike shops in Portland, especially in the downtown area, please let me know!   If possible, I'd much rather spend my dollars at a family owned or other small business than a chain store.

For now, off to make tea and go to bed. Night all!

It was amazing yesterday to watch as the wonderful 1-800-Got-Junk folks cleared away the ENORMOUS pile of trash, junk, etc., that we compiled over the last few weeks.  What a wonderful, light feeling it was to realize how big our back yard really is without all that *stuff*; it was upon completion of the clearing that I realized how long it had been since we had had that much clear space.  Whew!  What a relief!  So, if you ever need things hauled away, please do give these folks a call.  We've worked with them several times now, always a good experience.  For those of you on Facebook, I believe that T posted pictures there of the whole operation as it progressed.

The shop is doing well right now, and I am ever so grateful to all of you wonderful people that make my work there so rewarding.  It is truly a joy to work at one's passion, and to have such great folks along for the ride is a priceless gift.  Thank you!

Speaking of which, Friday is Late Night Knits again!  We're open 'till 11 p.m., and we will have our usual LNK movie starting around 8 p.m.  This month we will be watching Chicago, a favorite of mine. I can't promise not to sing along!

In the fitness arena, I am pleased to report some real progress.  I had a private lesson yesterday with Willow Glen Yoga founder Kent Bond, and he was able to help me find some excellent ways to not only re-strengthen my right leg, but to also work towards convincing the musculature to work together again.  My frustration with physical therapy is that they have been unable to help me get real muscle response from the atrophied leg. I feel like I just might be on the right track now.  Thank you, Kent!

I also dragged my butt onto the bike again today...and noticed a real difference in the amount of work that my leg was willing to do!  Yeah!

And now, off to find a soothing glass of wine and a little spinning before bed.  'Night all!

Running saved my life... or at least my sanity.  At one point, I was looking at having to medicate for depression.  I started running, and running allowed me to take control of my blood sugar.  I did not need medication - I needed structure and discipline, in that order.  The structure gave me the safety to build the discipline.

Then it all fell apart when the source of my childhood abuse came back into my life.  I really didn't understand at the time how serious the impact would be.  The results have been mixed: I broke contact with my birth family, which was not only good, but necessary, but I also lost control of my blood sugar again and gained a fantastic 50 lbs.  Because I have hypoglycemia, low blood sugar, it's not like there is a medication I can take to help with the management of my blood sugar.  Nutrition and exercise are my only two avenues, and some of the medications I take for my breathing cause my blood sugar to be even more volatile. 

Now, I am faced with the very real possibility that I will no longer be able to run at all. It's been several years of battling my right knee, having it off and on be too painful to even try to run.  This Spring I was faced with pain sufficiently debilitating that I was no longer able to walk on the leg.  By the time I got into surgery on the knee, I had suffered a large amount of muscle atrophy in that leg because I simply couldn't use it.  Five weeks post-surgery, when I flat out asked the doctor if I would be able to run again, he wryly smiled and told me that if I could get ALL the muscle tone back in the leg AND be at my ideal weight, then I could try it.  

I still have hope that I will run again.  Running gives me a sense of peace that no other exercise has ever given me.  However, that hope is dwindling every day now.  Instead, I'm trying to learn to love bicycling the way I loved running; it's not the same, but I have to have that kind of constant motion to balance my body, heart, and mind.  Without it, my spirit simply does not flow with the flow of life.  I end up fighting even to breathe, let alone try to thrive.

Because I don't love cycling the way I love running, it's very hard to be motivated to create the structure that lends strength to discipline.  I'm not sure how this is going to end up, but I do know that I want to be able to move freely through the rest of my life.  Right now, the choice to have mobility going forward or not is mine and mine alone.  I know that events can occur that steal away mobility without my consent, but at least this time I do have the power to change my future.  I just don't know if I have the discipline.

It was the first day back at The Shop today.  It went pretty well, though I did end up spending the entirety of the day in the office.  Running a business is often full of paperwork, paperwork, and more paperwork, but it's okay.  I end up feeling quite good when the papers relatively under control. 

It was nice to see folks again today, and while I enjoyed my vacation, I also enjoy my work very much.

In other news, I had a mammogram on Monday, and I'm happy to report that it's all normal. :)  This one place where I am absolutely thrilled to be normal!  Just remember, folks, MAMMOGRAMS ARE IMPORTANT! 

I am now looking forward to a bit of spinning and a good night's sleep.  I have physical therapy tomorrow, and I'm curious to see how the knee assesses out after the week's vacation.  I worked the leg pretty hard across the days off, and I'm hoping that some progress has been made.

Happy Fourth of July! 

I was able to dig all the bikes out of the bike storage shed and have now filled all the tires up with again.  Happily, none of them appear to have sprung any leaks!  Best of all, my hybrid bike fits the nice $30 bike trainer that I bought perfectly, especially after propped the front wheel up a bit.  (I was sliding off the seat!)  We're listing the older of our two tandems and Ru's old mountain bike for sale on Craigslist; One tandem is all we need now, and for the latter, Ru's outgrown the mountain bike by more than a small margin.  She still has a nice cruiser that fits well, and we may be able to get her a new geared bike with hand brakes with the money from the sale of the other two bikes.  

I am also happy to been able to re-home my drum carder.  I just don't have the time or space for it right now.  Eventually, I will acquire a new one from Ashford, but only after a whole LOT of space has been reclaimed.  We're working on the space reclaiming project, but there is still much work to do.

This afternoon is planned to be relaxing, spending time with Kathy in San Jose and her family.  It's so nice to have a little time to relax and be social!

The day has been pleasant, despite the heat. punkmom , T, and I spent the early afternoon quietly reading/knitting.  All of us headed out to Target to do some shopping and enjoy their air conditioning for a while as the afternoon heated up.  One of the cool things we scored were new dishes.  We were quite ready to move to matching dishes for a while, and Target had nice sets.  We elected for a set with lovely blue and green colours.  I'm quite happy with it.

I received an early birthday present - an ipod Nano.  It's bright and pink and I am very happy with it. :)  It'll be nice to have it to enjoy across the Summer.  Thank you T and Punkmom!  (And to Sil for facilitating!) It's even got a sweet little inscription T and punkmom on the back. :)

I'm waiting for the sun to drop down below the trees behind our house before cranking up the AC unit in the library so I can get my bike ride in.  I missed Friday and Saturday; both days were so busy at The Shop that I was exhausted by the time I got home.  I have to address this as a daily ride is required now in order to keep my knee on the road to recovery.  I am ecstatic to have found via Craigslist a recumbent bike with a built-in heartrate monitor for only $50!  I highly recommend Craigslist if you are looking for things like this.  You do have to pay attention as sometimes things are priced a bit high for used equipmen or furniture, but you can also do very well.  I really like the idea of re-use that happens with both Craigslist and Freecycle.  Biking is going to have be my primary cardio workout, at least for the foreseeable future.  Much muscle building and trimming down needs to occur before I can really run again.

I did get a bunch of work done on the back of the new sweater that I cast-on yesterday at the shop.  I am working on the Modern Lace Henley from Knitty Winter 2007, and I'm working in the specified yarn.  That never happens!  The piece is working up beautifully and quickly; I'm at 11 inches on the back now.  I'm hoping to complete it and the hooded tunic that is in progress while we're on vacation.  Yea! Vacation is almost here!

While I'm thinking about it, I'll be at the VNV Nation concert on Monday night at the Regency Ballroom in San Francisco with punkmom.  I'm really hoping to be able to go over to Death Guild afterward.  A lot depends on my energy levels, but I want very much to get some industrial in!

It was a strange day off. Ru ended coming down with a cold, so my planned drive to pick her up from swim this morning didn't happen.  She's still running a fever, and punkmom is down, too.  Now I get to pray that I don't come down with it.

Interestingly, I'll end up driving to work tomorrow as my first drive since the knee surgery, rather than having driven this morning to the swim center.  I'm a little nervous about it. I can't decide if driving city streets or the freeway is worse.  I'll have to decide in the morning.

I'm off to study a little and then head to bed...after doing the dishes.  My plan to start punkmom off on a spinning lesson tonight is foiled by her being sick.

On the upside, I have a line on a recumbent exercise bike in Belmont that looks quite nice.  We'll how it goes.

Today yezida asked the following questions:

What is burning in your heart today? What does your soul desire?

Whether we live in bright or shadow, whether we walk outside in North or South, together, can we try?

Today my heart is full.  In deciding to feel full, I have found a sense of fullness that is new for me.  My heart burns brightly, my spirit rises as it has never risen before, perhaps for many lives arcing backwards from this one.  I desire to learn to ride this feeling, this ecstatic Joy, without needing to bury my soul again under a cloak of shadow.  I understand in my mind that nothing is served by my hiding; I am beginning to understand in my heart how Joy can be served by stepping forth in Joy.  Joy seems to result in more Joy.  How can this be?  How can this growth result in more growth?  My fear rises with those questions, and I feel myself back away from brightness...even as my heart cries out to stand strong - and then step forward once again.

Stepping into Joy must begin with each one of us, in order for us to reach out together to reunite. The Lmitless waits for us, not a thing to fear but the Joy of the Universe waiting to bring us, all of us, Home.

Blessings also be with you.

I am seeing the world differently.  I find myself making more room for the divine in others to appear...even when I feel like ducking my head back into my shell.  The new skin I am trying on (a sort of anti-Max skin for those of you out there who know Where the Wild Things Are) is making a difference.  It's a sort of fake-it-till-you-make-it attitude, but it's working. I feel happier and lighter than I have in years, and I find myself laughing and smiling, appropriately, in situations where before I would have become unreasonably serious.  There are so many ways I can engage my Will to live Purposefully, but still with Joy.  It has taken me a long time - maybe many lifetimes - to understand that I can *always* live in Joy, even when I feel sorrow, anger, hurt, etc.  Joy is about that current of life energy that runs through us all, mighty and meek, large and small, happy and sad, male and female, one for all and all for one. 

May you find Joy in all you do.  May you experience Joy in every aspect of your life, bright or dark.  Remember that the real Light, the one that shines from within us all, is both bright and dark, heavy and slight, symphonic and silent. 

From VNV Nation's Illusion:
Please, don't go
I want you to stay
I'm begging you, please
Please, don't leave here
I don’t want you to hate for all the hurt that you feel
The world is just illusion trying to change you
Please, don't go
I want you to stay
I'm begging you, please
Please, don't leave here
I don’t want you to change for all the hurt that you feel
This world is just illusion always trying to change you

Home sweet home!  I had a great time at TNNA, but I am very glad to be home again.  Our flights were mostly uneventful today, with the exception that in Phoenix we literally landed, deplaned, walked across to our next gate and boarded our next flight.  Five minutes later and we were have missed the connection.  Thankfully, we landed at A10 and boarded at A9, so I was able to wobble over in time to board.  The really nice part of that flight was that it was not full, so N and I got to take up all three seats in our section!

Punkmom picked us up with coffees in hand.  I went with her to pick up R from school. After a snack at Whole Foods (not the *nearly* as big as the one in my adventure last Friday!) we came home and I fell asleep. I'm a little bummed as I'd have liked to have spent more quality time with R, but she was very understanding.  A four hour nap on my very own bed helped make my evening much smoother.

It was fun, but home is ever so sweet.  Our next trip to Sock Summit will be a driving trip, and my whole family will be there.  I'm looking forward to it!

Today was the last day of TNNA.  It was very productive day, starting off with breakfast with our friend, Chad, once again at the hotel cafe.  Their breakfast buffet is really terrific and I have to sing praises again about the omelette bar.  This was a great way to start our day!

Once on the market floor, we followed up with some folks that we began business with yesterday, as well as getting to the last couple of big vendors that we hadn't yet gotten to.  Oh, we have so many wonderful surprises in store for you!

At the end of our market day we headed over to get more of the fantastic Jeni's Ice Cream.  A little research later on this evening yielded the information that this is an award winning ice cream - about which I am not at all surprised given how good it is!  N and I missed our ice cream on Saturday and Sunday, and decided to go back for seconds to make up for it.  The funny thing is that we both had the same thought at the same time that if we were really going to make up for it we'd go back a third time!  We laughed about that and headed back to our hotel so that I could get my bike ride in and N could start packing.

Little did I know that the Universe was listening so closely!  We met with Amy, for dinner - a lovely thai restaurant called Lemongrass -  where they took very good care of me and my food allergies.  I had the Monsoon Chicken (otherwise known as Monsoon Shrimp for those of you who can eat the little critters), and was quite happy.  However, after Amy mentioned that the Jeni's store was located near the restaurant, N looked up the info and indeed they were close by and open late!  So, we did end up having our third helping of ice cream for the day afterall!

One of the most spectacular things happened on the way back to the hotel after dinner: I saw my first firefly!  I have heard so much about them over my lifetime, but I just haven't been in the right place at the right time, I guess.  It was fantastic (my word of the day, apparently)!  I've never seen anything like it.  I saw the first flash and held my breath waiting to see if it was just a reflection from a car headlight.  It was the real thing.  I didn't realize that they don't always flash the same color.  The little guy flashed golden-yellow to bright-green.  I squealed with delight!  I'm so that N and Amy got to share that moment with me.  :)

This was an awesome trip, and I am quite happy and content.  Though tired, even my knee fared well, especially considering that a scant four weeks ago I couldn't put weight on that leg.  I'm very pleased.  It will be nice, however, to get home and get a masssage from Mr. Ray to loosen up all the flight kinks and get me grounded back on my home territory.  

Winging my way home in the morning!

So, what a difference a year makes!  On Sunday night last year I was in tears, due in large part to the fact that I hadn't had a hot meal or more than 3 hours of consecutive sleep since leaving San Jose on Thursday.

This year is so very different!  I once again started my morning off with a hearty breakfast scramble.  We then headed to the market to find more wonderful stuff to bring back to The Shop.  There are so many wonderful things here, and I can't wait to show them to you as they arrive!  We found quite good coffee (for a change!) at the bagel place in the convention center.  The advertising style makes me wonder if they are a part of the Starbucks family as it's very, very similar.  I even found a yogurt parfait that had separated allergen statements for the yogurt and the granola, which was safely packaged in a sealed container.  Yeah!  I enjoyed the yogurt in small bits across the day.

N and I held a pretty steady pace, even though we still didn't quite get through everyone we wanted to at least visit!  We'll get through the rest tomorrow, as well as some revisits that we need to make.  But I digress: the best part of my day was yet to come!

By the time we walked out of the market floor, we were both famished and in need of a hot meal, preferably protein loaded.  Hyde Park Prime Steakhouse had popped up on our way out on the Whole Foods adventure on Friday, so we decided to head there in hopes of a good steak.  We were certainly not disappointed!  Our service was fabulous, the food was timely and incredible, and my double espresso at the end was really, really yummy!  It's so nice to find someone that can pull an espresso shot with strong flavor, but not over pull it and end up with a bitter drink.  I had a creme brulee for dessert and it was smooth and creamy and the perfect end to a meal of 10 oz of some of the best filet mignon I've had in a really long time.  They were absolutely happy to accommodate my food allergies.  If you're in Columbus, I heartily recommned them to you!

And now, off to do a bit of strategizing about tomorrow... :)

Saturday at TNNA!  Hey, that rhymes! 

It was  a pretty good day, though this morning's breakfast meeting was a little drowsy making as I wen to sleep around 2 a.m. and some fabulous person decided to come down the halls about 3 a.m. shouting and carrying on.  Poor N woke up because I woke up and sat bolt upright, startling her.  The good news is that I did manage to go back to sleep with a minimum of fuss, and ended up with more or less 5 hours of sleep.  I had already decided that postponing my Saturday workout from the AM to the PM was a smart move.  I think that's the longest I've ever slept in a single night on one of these trips - and is just about what I slept total on the last trip!

The breakfast meeting was good.  There are so many yummy new designs and yarns coming later this Fall and Winter!  We headed pretty immediately down to the market floor to start our buying trip.  It was a long day and we decided to push through and get as much done as possible today so we could slow down the next two days and take a bit more time with some of the bigger vendors.  Oh, there is so much yarnie goodness out here!  No, I didn't skip food; N and I had a latte break  mid-day, marcona almonds across the day, and I had a protein shake later in the afternoon.  The lovely Bonne Marie invited us to share her table for dinner and we had wonderful conversation and some quite decent food.  

I then indulged in the tasty chocolate confection that I purchased yesterday on the field trip to The Biggest Whole Foods.  It was delicious, though I ended up discarding about half the chocolate mousse in favor of finishing the chocolate shell.  I really want to experiment with making chocolate shells some day (in my copious spare time!).  That little treat was followed by a trip to the gym (at N's urging) to get in a ride and I managed a full 30 minutes on the bike plus some strength training!  I am not freshly showered and feeling quite chipper, with tea at hand.  

LIfe is good.  No, really it is!  I am so very, very blessed to be able to work at my passions with wonderful people.   This is truly a gift.

What a difference this year's trip to TNNA compared to last year.  By this time last year I was already exhausted and very hungry; there was even less sleep than this time and entirely too little food.

This year it's all about the food!  This morning we started out with a hearty breakfast at the Hyatt cafe, where the nice omelette bar chef made me a lovely scramble (at my request) LOADED with bacon and little sundried tomato.  I must remember to pick some up at home and cut them into little pieces - they work incredibly well with eggs that way.  He topped it off with a generous handful of cheese and I was off to a great start with my day. 

We then headed off for our adenture at the biggest Whole Foods ever (which I blogged earlier), and afterwards N got a great massage to try and repair the damage done to her shoulder during our flight out here, and I went to the gym.  I got in 25 minutes on the bike (a new record for this pass), 7 minutes on the treadmill at 2.2 mph, and strengthening exercises.  It felt great!

We rushed through showers and makeup in order to swing by and get ice cream before the fashion show.  Yum!  We did miss the very beginning of the fashion show due to chatting with Cat Bordhi and Clara Parkes  a bit at the North Market, but we did catch the majority of the show.  It was interesting, and we'll bring reports home about the Fall and Winter trends in knitware.  The reception following was okay - N found me cheese I could eat - but the conversation with Amanda and Miriam was really nice. 

The evening has been rounded by a lovely trip to a bar/grill called TipTop.  It reminded me of the bar/grill that used to be in downtown San Jose called The Flying Pig Pub.  I miss it still..  At Tip Top I had the  most amazing feta cheese spread, redolent with herbs, served with a wonderful platter of fresh, crispy veggies for dipping.  Yum!  And their iced tea (real, brewed iced tea!) was fantastic!

I am enjoying a lovely late harvest Gewurtsraminer and getting ready to spin and try to sleep longer than I did last night (which was really only about 4 hours - remarkable given that I'm traveling!), so that I'm fresh and toasty to work out early and then go to a breakfast meeting.  Sleep well everyone!

N and I just got back from a field trip to Whole Foods.  She really didn't want to have me sobbing on day five, having lived on GF crackers and cheese like I did last year!  We made some procedural changes this year - like making reservations for the breakfast buffet everyday - and planned this food shopping trip.  The North Market is great, but can't provide me a complete meal.

Oh.My. Godess!  This is the largest Whole Foods I have ever been in.  For the folks from our area: this is bigger than the "Costco of Whole Foods,"  otherwise know as the Cupertino Whole Foods. 

It was shear Gluten Free Heaven!  I even found a magazine called Gluten-Free Living that I had never seen before!  What a treat!

After shopping and a lovely lunch of baked salmon with LOTS of black and white sesame seeds, quinoa tofu salad, and a dark chocolate mocha (which uses actual cocoa powder and no sweatener; they intend for you to choose a syrup to sweeten, but it didn't need any sweetening!) I am a very happy bear!

I just wish punkmom had gotten to enjoy it, too; she's holding down the fort at the shop, so be sure to stop in and say, "Hi!"

Today I found that I shouldn't assume I'm as mobile as I want to be.  I turned down the proferred wheel chair to get up the first ramp I boarded today at the beginning of my journey to Columbus, OH.  By the third leg of the ramp - which became substantially more steep - I was very, very sorry to have turned down the wheel chair.  After that I did in fact accept them at our layover and on arrival.  I have to say that all the attendants that worked with me were fabulous, courteous, respectful, and friendly.  You really can't ask for much more than that.

We arrived later than planned but safe and sound.  After a 20 min stint on the exercise bike my knee was a whole lot more mobile, and the room service that had already arrived by the time I got back up to the room was terrific!  I have spent a relaxing evening with N, watching the remainder of the movie we started on the first leg of the trip - Living Out Loud.  Wonderful!